Balian niyo ako (gimme a break)

eksena. ang hirap pala talaga umamin sa parents noh? i came out to my parents yesterday morning. and WHAT A MORNING THAT WAS. it all started when my mom accosted me for leaving all the lights on the first floor turned on. then my dad was like "bat ba ayaw mo sa madilim? natatakot ka ba?" .. at syempre, alam niyo naman ako, pabalang palagi.. sagot ako ng "ewan ko sa inyo. wag niyo ako kausapin".. dad was all "ano? wag kang kausapin? sige di rin kita kakausapin. yung mga sagot mo para kang bakla".. i dont know what came over me but i just blurted out "eh bakla nga naman talaga eh".. slight pause for shock.. then he said "p***ngina.. kung bakla ka lumayas ka dito.. di ko matatanggap na may bakla sa pamamahay ko".. and dahil nakabihis pa ako from a party, lumayas talaga ako. eksena. i just put on my ruber shoes and a jacket then got out of the house.. hehe i was crying all the way to the phone booth (i know i know.. pathetic diba?) and when i got there, i called up angela.. putek, di ako makasalita ng maayos.. i was all "a-a-aanj.. *hikbi* can i *hikbi* stay at your place *hagulgol*.. aaanj.. *hagulgol ulit*" hahaha kawawang bakla.. i got on the first jeep to cubao.. EKSENA! i was crying on the jeep.. i mean, pang famas na iyak yung tig isang luha bawat mata na sabay tutulo.. epek! i dont know if it was the cold morning air or the stares of the other passengers but something got me thinking.. "pag umeksena ako ngayon, di ako makakapag test ng labor.. lalo pang makokomplikado ang mga bagay.. saka maka di matuloy puerto namin.. sabagay, kelangan din mangyari ito sooner or later.. might as well be now.." so when i got to cubao, i lit a cigarette and looked for a payphone.. call angela up to tell her i wouldnt be going to her place afterall. then i got on a jeep home. when i got home, the gate was already locked so i rang the doorbell.. guess who opened the gate!? my dad. that's when things got "Award-winning" here's the WATERED DOWN VERSION.. ask me personally if you want the COMPLETE VERSION..

setting: garage

john: bat niyo ako sinaraduhan?

dad: san ka ba kasi galing?

john: nag yosi (sa cubao)

dad: ah ok..

john: *hugs dad* sorry dad..

dad: ok lang yun.. nabigla lang din naman ako.. *breaks the hug* pero anak totoo ba yung sinabi mo na bakla ka?"

john: opo.

dad: *hugs me again* hindi yan anak.. kaya mo pang baguhin yan.. *we get into the house*

setting: sala

dad: hindi yan totoo john.. kaya mo pa baguhin yan.. tulungan mo kaming tulungan ang sarili mo.. identity crisis lang yan

john: dad.. im way past identity crisis.. im already "here"

dad: *as my mom was going down the stairs to join in* hindi anak eh.. hindi ko talaga ma isip kung pano mangyayari yun..

john: *mom sits down on the chair in fron of me* hindi na naman issue dad kung ano ako eh. matagal ko nang na finalize yun. ang kelangan ko nalang is yung tanggapin niyo ako kung ano talaga ako. *mom starts sobbing when she realizes what i was talking about*

mom: hindi anak *weeping ala mara-clara* sa influence nalang yan sayo ng environment mo.. nung nasa lourdes ka pa.. kasi puro mga "ganun" yung mga naging kabarkada mo

dad: nagsisisi nga ako kung bakit pa kita pinasok dun eh.

john: eksaj naman dad. dun nga ako nagka utak eh..

mom: its a matter of choice lang anak.. dalawa lang yan eh. black and white. you're still grey.. trying to choose between the two.. experimenting.. hindi ka bakla..

john: mom, matagal nakong wala sa grey. kayo nalang nagsasabi niyan kasi di niyo matanggap. alam niyo ba kasi, kayo nalang ang kulang eh. masaya nako sa buhay ko. tanggap ako ng mga kaibigan ko, tanggap ako ng kapatid ko kung ano ako.. kayo nalang ang kulang.. kayo nalang *i was fighting back tears*

dad: bakit ba pinagpipilitan mong bading ka? bakit? nakatikim ka na ba ng lalaki?

john: *blank.. fuck.. ano isasagot ko dun*

mom: atsaka bakit parang proud na proud ka pang sabihin na bakla ka?

john: because i AM proud. proud ako kung ano ako. at most importantly, im proud na i can finally be honest with you guys. i love you so much and you deserve to see the truth. to know who your son really is. kaya nga heto ako ngayon. nagpapakilala sa inyo. bading ako.

dad: bakit di mo i try na mag girlfriend? kahit kadiri..

john: nge. ayoko naman nun. maglolokohan lang kami.

mom: oo nga pero malay mo eventually you might like it.

john: like what? na makipag lokohan? na lokohin pati sarili ko? wag nalang.

mom: so pano yan, sa edad kong ito pwede na akong maging matrona. kung nagkataon mag aagawan pa tayo sa lalaki?

john: mommy naman. parang pareho tayo ng taste. eew. (o diba? KAYANIN MO YAN!)

dad: mabuti pa tulugan na muna natin to.. alas dos na. maaga ka pa aalis bukas.

john: ok..

THAT ENDS THE WATERED DOWN VERSION. i omitted some parts of the conversation.. mejo sensitive na eh.. pero long story short, THEY KNOW.. but they dont necessarily accept my being gay.. oh well.. goodluck nalang diba?

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